I wish I had these guys’ free spiritedness. Adulthood is so lacking of innocence and simplicity.
In this collection, [McQueen notes] the idea of the chess game meant that we looked at six different types of women, women on opposing sides. We had the Americans facing the Japanese and the redheads facing the tanned Latinos. (via)
I’m having a bit of a dilemma, is it better to stay true to the times and do what you said you never would or change it to be what you want knowing you’ll lose a bit of authenticity? (writer’s battles)
So recently I’ve discovered this new iPad app called Unstuck. And basically its this app that’s supposed to ask you a crap load of questions to help you figure out why you’re as stuck in life as a bug to fly paper. And oddly enough, it’s pretty helpful. I mean, I really kinda knew what my problems were and yet, this app made it seem…legit. As legitimate as “in your head” problems can be anyway.
I’m 21, (opps, I hope that’s not too much internet information to give about myself), but anyways, I’m 21 and for some reason I’ve been having this crazy “mid-life crisis” of sorts for years. I think I’m the only girl (opps there I go again with the too much info again), who got to college and didn’t think “woot!!! where the party people at” no instead, I thought to myself, “geez I’m behind! Where’s the 401K already?!?”. And maybe I am behind. I mean, think about it in terms of that asshole who runs Facebook, or that other asshole who lucked into guessing that people like making home movies to show of their “talents” (i.e. YouTube), or that Lindsay Lohan broad who’s still somehow relevant.
So by these standards yeah, shouldn’t I, you know, be somewhere by now? And so you see, apps like Unstuck have become sort of my own personal, self-help sessions. But maybe the problem isn’t that I’m stuck in life, maybe its just that I’m just high strung and I’ve never been able to just be. I’ll tell you one thing though, i’d be one hell of a beaver. I can really work like hell when it comes down to it. But I think I work better with my hands, the minute my mind gets involved in anything it’s all: “what are the deadlines? bottomlines, crosslines and the like” and that’s the closet that creativity dies in. That’s the closet that’s got me by both ankles. And that’s what I need to get “Unstuck” from.
A part of my soul hurt to hear some lil girl say “strollers are fun cuz you don’t have to walk” America’s youth everyone. ay dios mio.
Catalina Island, a set on Flickr.My Flickr book of Catalina Island trip Fall 2011
“ One day you will think of me, as I thought of you. One day you will cry for me, as I cried for you. One day you will want me, as much as I wanted you. ”
So today I decided to write about some things I’ve been running into non-stop recently. Are you ready? Doubts, Droughts, and Detours.
As any Angeleno can tell you, our fair city of angels has been positively overrun recently by these nagging Detour signs. It seems everywhere you go these days, there’s one staring you in the face shaking finger saying “not this way friend!” And annoyingly, you are forced to take turn after aggravating turn going absolutely no where near where you intended.
So as I was stuck listening to Sarah Bareilles- Breathe Again (Listen to it because it’s simply SO worth it!) and I realized something. Seeing as I don’t believe in coincidences. What could this mean for me?
And recently I’ll tell you I’ve been no stranger to doubts. I’ve found myself going off the rails taking tailspin after tailspin. Struggling to remember why I choose to do the things I do. Doubting what I’ve always known. And let me tell you when you begin to question the beliefs that make you who you are at your essence, the next step is a drought.
Now I don’t mean a drought in terms of a famine in a food sense. By all means you can just make a PB&J no prob. But I’m talking about the kind of drought that inhibits you from doing what makes you you. For me, I’m a writer. I obviously, write. So when I question myself and what’s important to me, it’s like having a switch in your head flipped and all of a sudden it’s “all quiet on the western front” (so to speak) And that is most definitely no fun.
I realized somewhere along the way I lost my way this year. I let myself go straight for so long I couldn’t remember why. And soon I begun doing things I knew wouldn’t end well. Because my usually very clear sense of decision making suddenly took a five (for a few months!) And soon, my easy sailing became a fork in the road, meets a speed bump, meets a guard rail and soon I realized what happened and then was just stuck. It wasn’t as simple as flipping the switch again. Instead I had to just wait it out. In a drought in which the only thing I had were my doubts.
So what does this all mean for me? It means. I took a couple detours. It means, like traffic, I took too many lefts, too many rights. But let me ask you this, whoever you are, what would happen if there were no detours? Well, you’d simply be stuck. You’d be stagnant. You’d be stuck in traffic unmoving for hours with no signs to tell you why. So when you think about it. A detour is actually a blessing. A detour is a sign telling you that something is in your way, something maybe you can’t see. But maybe if you take a couple lefts, a few rights and maybe a roundabout or two, you’d eventually find your way home again.
And after all, isn’t that all we’ve ever wanted? To find our way home again. To be where we belong? That’s what I thought about today. I thought about doubting, and about the detours and how they’re actually my friends they know I’m stuck even when I don’t. So where’s your detour guiding you?